My HOLY SHIT Moment

For days, years, decades … I’d cruise through life knowing I had as much time in the world to explore, travel, experience new things and make mistakes … Make mistakes … make mistakes?!

It was a cold or maybe really hot day in New York City about two months ago when it dawned on me that I couldn’t keep making the same mistakes.  In my twenties I could make late payments on my TMobile bill only to face a light slap on the hand and and a late fee of $4.95.  I could speed and get a traffic ticket with yet another slap on the hand and a fee of $150 – $300.  I could be late to almost anything and have my tardiness covered by a really good friend who got there on time. Everything was recoverable and fixable.

However, how does one make up for lost time and years that I will never be able to get back from long term bad decisions?

One day I was walking down a New York City street only to realize I was walking down the wrong street.  Not a big deal – I can always turn around make a quick right and then left and be back on track within 5 minutes of the unplanned detour.

This isn’t always the case with some of the decisions we make in life.  As women we can make the wrong decision for a years or decades and this is where my “holy shit” moment came!  There are some mistakes I’ve made in my life where the repercussion is well beyond a hand slap.  For some of these mistakes I can’t get back the years and years of pointless tears or using my “naive” ways as an excuse for it will only keep me in the cycle for years to come.

It was time to make better decisions.

Have you ever had your subconscious, or god or the universe or whatever higher being (you believe in)  try to get through to you and you be to scared to take the leap or make that hard decision?  The message is in your dreams and instances begin to occur on a regular basis  that notify you that are going the wrong way.  I’ve been through this several times in my life touching various life related topics and I’m learning that you can’t IGNORE your journey.  Have you noticed that when we move off course “shit just goes wrong” and nothing goes smoothly.  There are a million “do no proceed” “wrong way” and screaming red flags that throw itself in front of your vehicle at every moment and as relentlessly stubborn humans we ignore every sign  because we think we know better or we’re to scared to take the leap.

It’s time to make better decisions. Recently I’ve surrendered to some of my own painful patterns and when I did … the universe started to give me what I needed to fill the void, overpower the ego and keep me moving in the direction of making better / healthier decisions.   It’s still really hard to break patterns and the emotional process is very up and down but it feels good to know that your making decisions that are in alignment with your values, goals, worth and it’s empowering.

My “holy shit” moment made me realize that I didn’t want to waste my life or time doing anything that no longer serves me or my purpose.  Time is precious and it can filled doing things that bring you happiness and abundance so why waste it?  I want to use this year to create new friendships,  unforgettable memories, mastering what I love to do, learning to cook, exploring New York, laughing, eating, dancing and being the best Me I can be …

That’s when I’m the happiest, most fulfilled and I can offer the most to people in my surroundings.  Cheers to 2012.
My top 10 moments of 2011 –

1:   Re-uniting with my best friend Monica Payne 🙂
2:  Going to Prince’s concert – VIP style, hanging with my long time friends Rashida, Monica and sister Shari and dancing on stage with Prince – That was a farewell I’ll never forget. Thank you Rashida!
3:  Launching Unite for Green at NBA All Star in Los Angeles in collaboration.
4:  Moving to New York City (period) and ALL the growth that came with that decision.
5:  My farewell party in LA and SF – Thank you HC and Franboogie and Miguel E.
6:  Creating new friendships in NYC – I feel pretty darn lucky to have reconnected/connected with some amazing women on the East Coast.
7:  Producing my first large event with Red Bull
8:  My nephew saying my name for the first time “Shel shel”
9:  Launching HC in 3 cities
10: The special moments shared with the people closest to me in 2011.  It has definitely been a transitional year.

The Journey – I was warned but had no idea…

I was combing through my abandoned Blog – only to find this post written 2 months ago.  Enjoy!

I can happily say that I survived …

I moved to NYC in mid June – warned by friends of family of the weather, people, attitudes, hustle … but I had no idea.

The journey felt like the movie SPEED when after each challenge – the broken elevator, the train explosion, the bomb threats  – you swore the movie was coming to an end but NO – there was always more.   This has been my experience moving to NYC.

It began with finding an apartment to live in – I combed over 35 apartments in NYC.  I had an unplanned tour of Queens, Harlem, Manhattan, Brooklyn (BK Heights, Williamsburg, Carols Garden, Crown Heights) and this was done in a two week period in humidity that was unexplainable.  I had initially told my broker that I wanted an apartment in Manhattan on the 2nd floor w/ a washer and dryer, modern and new, high ceilings, closet space and 1200 square footage for …. $?.  He looked at me and said “uh yeah…”

It was no easy task.  In Manhattan the places I saw were old, small and expensive.  After looking at location 14 I decided to call the search for a NYC apartment “Compromise.”  Slowly your list of desired amenities is reduced to “I just want a place to live!” I was hard set on finding a place in Brooklyn.  I found spots that were more expensive than Manhattan but had some crazy rules attached to renting the property.  The fear of homelessness neared.

Well … in the end I found my apartment and it’s perfect. Blood, sweat and luckily no tears – I found her and by “her” I mean the apartment that I’m making my own.  There is no laundry in the building but I’ve found ways to cope by taking the taxi to the nearest laundry mat and handling my business every two weeks or calling for pick up when then there’s no time.

My entire apartment was gut renovated so all appliances are new 🙂  I have an amazing super who comes same day and builds everything for me because god knows that’s just not one of my talents.

1 down — onto transporation …

Since I get lost everywhere I go  – with or without GPS -it only made sense that I got lost on the subway.  Not to mention that NYC is the only place where it’s imperative that you note if a block is a street or avenue.  For the first 3 weeks I had a 3 /10 ratio getting to where I needed to be.  I had to laugh at some point. I made more friends on the subway than anywhere else.  “I’m not from here” It was awesome.

5 months later – I shoulder bump everyone on the subway to get to where I need to be, my patience for bullshit has decreased, I HATE when people stand still in the middle of the side walk (who does that?) and “keep it moving” leaves my lips at least once a day to folks strollin’ on the street versus actually “walking” … true story.
I started a brand new job in New York – it’s been non stop since touching down in NYC.  I eat, sleep and dream about events.  I’ve been so lucky to be able to travel, learn and be amongst some of the coolest people in each of the East BU’s markets. Shout – out to Yaya, Nu and Brad 🙂  I’ve been able to learn so much in a very small amount of time. It was a brutal learning curve but really necessary on a lot of levels.  It was tough being away from all my loved ones and barely having the time to keep in touch due to the craziness that comes with adjustment and moving but … I made it.

Due to this opportunity I’ve been able to visit Seattle, Chicago, DC, Philly, Boston and now I’m going to Madrid this month.  I’m learning a TON and I’ve met some incredible people.  I’m tired as hell but completely inspired by the projects and talents of the people in my business unit. I can’t wait for next year and the slew of events that I’ll get to work on.  I completed my last event for the season in DC this last Monday and it was amazing.  A big shout out to our vendors and team – Ankh Marketing, Media House, Comms, Brooklyn Bodega and the local Red Bull DC team.  Everyone contributed to making it the success that it was!

I’m looking forward to some time to enjoy the city a bit. I started to take dance class with one of my co – workers and getting my upkeep together.  Hair done, nails done …lol & hang out with the friends (that I don’t yet have) that I’ve already had to flake on. LOL.  I found an amazing stylist Christian who is fabulous, gay and makes me laugh to tears.

I say all this to say – learning curves can be brutal but so necessary to push us to reach our very highest potential.

LIFE

Life has been good — great and now absolutely flipping amazing.  The past couple of months I’ve been dedicated to working my ass off.  DEDICATED.  I haven’t been inspired to write in awhile, simply because I’ve been to busy “doing” and less interested in “talking” and “writing.”  I finally feel like I can take a moment to breathe.  I didn’t say a “week off” I said “moment.”

I’m inspired and I’m listening to my intuition with my projects.  Three weeks ago I received a call from the Oprah Winfrey Network regarding Unite for Green.  I was asked to submit my story.  Regardless of the outcome I think that’s pretty flippin cool! Lol.  My Unite for Green team members have also started dialogue with some major companies and synergies are being formed for the beginning of the school year solar concert, as well as the programming for the coming year.  Amazing companies such as Island Def Jam have signed on to support Unite for Green, alongside additionally forming synergies with the NBA, Whole Foods and AEG.

Life happens and the most challenging part of this entire project is keeping the ball up in the air because dropping it is just not an option.  In fact, the challenging part of this entire project is keeping the ball SOARING through the air.  It truly didn’t matter how many or what came up in my life — this project has come first.  I simply have had to save the tears for later.  The work is paying off in ways I can’t describe and ways that I don’t think I’m even aware of at this point.  The conversations and phone calls I’ve had surrounding this project has been nothing but blessings after blessings.  Everyone has worked soooo hard and the students are some of the most amazing individuals I’ve ever worked with.

Additionally, there have been some CRAZY turn of events and I have a strong feeling there are going to be some MAJOR changes happening in my life very soon. I’ve had a great month!  I made my trip to Las Vegas and got to hang with my dance family, the Jabbawockeez and one of my very best friends Fayeboogie :D.  It was my first time seeing their show and it almost made me tear up seeing some of their old routines and hearing music from past shows.  Mad nostalgia.  I’m really proud of them.  Post show – we all hooked up and drank and soon found ourselves in a lounge that could’ve acted as a freezer!  It was a lot of fun!

A couple of weeks later … I found myself in beautiful New York City.  I had the time of my life.   I was only there for 36 hours but I got it in!  I was trying to be responsible and get lots of sleep for an important meeting i had the next day … but in the 11th hour I decided to roll.  I met up with my close friend Crazy Legs and Shah Wonders at a venue called Sutra where Pete Rock was playing. There I also saw a friend Dj Waynski and was completely entertained listening to the sweet sounds of Dj June from NYC.  She’s a Japanese female DJ (wooohoo) and she was killin it!

I’ve had more friend in the past month than I’ve had in the last year!  I’ve missed a lot of people and it’s felt incredible to get some QT time in.   I’m so thankful for the relationships in my life, for my family, the blessings and the direction my career is going/heading.  I had roommates for all of 4 days when one of my bestie’s came to town from the bay area.  RJ and Dennis!  It was nice to have their company and have chance to catch up.

The lessons learned in the past year haven’t all been easy but I suppose they were important lessons that I needed to learn.  (maybeeee not alllll of them though.) 🙂  I AM SHOWING UP for everything in my life right now!  It’s not a game!  Get reach for the Honey Live Soul Series coming in May, the JW rooftop Series anddddd the Unite for Green solar concert!  Check out my recap of this last month …. Peace and Love!

Me and Phil 🙂

Fayeboogie, Rainen, Ben and me! Vegas Baby! After the show...

ME and PHI!!!!!! straight fam bamOf course me and my feylaaa!

Fayeboogie, Rainen, Ben and me! Vegas Baby! After the show...

They took my camera and hid it the locker!

OMG this was by far my favorite photo! priceless. HAHAH

Inside the Freezer Lounge. They wouldnt let me bring my camera in but I did it anyways! Who wants to spend time in freezer if you cant capture the experience?

Enough said...

Fayeboogie on the 1s and 2s!

Tony!

Personalized Goodies at the Hotel! Loved this!

Shah and Legs at Sutra!

30!

As I make the big leap into my thirties — I’m reflecting on all that I learned and experienced in my unforgettable twenties.  There are some things I will NEVER do again and there are a lot of things I can’t wait to saddle up for Round 2. My journey has been absolutely amazing and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.  I’m realizing that everything I thought I needed in order to be happy – I don’t.  I’m seeing and feeling EVERYTHING I need to be happy and fulfilled — I already have.  When I think of the memories I share with different people in my life – it fills me with so much gratitude that I have so many amazing friends in my life.  When I think of the memories I share with my family – it makes me wonder How I Got To Be So Damn Lucky! Below are my top 30 memories from my twenties and the top 30 lessons of my twenties!  Here We Go!

Top 30 Lessons!
30:  Don’t take side when friends bicker – it’s better to stay out of it and hear both sides of the story. In the end — after hearing both sides — STILL DO NOT TAKE SIDES!
29:  Give people space when they need it!
28:  Be a friend to your boyfriend.
27:  Be a friend to yourself first.
26:  2 wrongs don’t make a right.
25:  I learned my character and I’m proud of it!
24:  Dream super big.
23:  Do not let other’s people ish get in the way of your life! – Live your life!
22:  I learned to feel limitless and fearless in my endeavors.
21:  Don’t be the victim.

20:  Nobody’s perfect.
19:  Who cares what a situation looks like to the outside – be honest and truthful with yourself as to what’s going on inside.
18:  Watch what people choose to do in challenging / desperate times — it’s often an indicator of character.  Heed the warnings.
17:  It’s okay to be angry or hurt but it’s how we deal with those painful emotions is what’s important.
16:  I need / love mediation in my life!
15:  The statement “I’m a grown ass woman” annoys the shit out of me.  Being grown doesn’t usually entail having to tell another person.
14:  The truth will always be revealed! As a good friend once tweeted – ” you don’t have to remember anything — when you’re telling the truth!”

If we were to truly take the time to stop “asking” for more — * Truly realizing that we really do have everything we need to be happy right now!

13:  Don’t take twitter and Facebook too seriously!
12:  People can preach the gospel as much as they want — but that doesn’t mean they live the gospel.
11:  Don’t do to onto others as you wouldn’t want to be done to you.
10:  Don’t make your goals about money — focus on your passion.
9: Never stop doing what you love / or change your life for a man.
8:  Do not reward bad behavior under any circumstances! – Set boundaries in ALL relationships!
7:  “I’m sorry and I’m trying”  — only goes so far. Actions speak louder than words.  Observe!
6:  Money you loan friends / boyfriends — you may never see again.
5:  Loving yourself means taking care of yourself mentally, physically and spiritually.
4:  I have the best friends and family a person can ask for.
3:  Be Present.
2:  Life is hard – but gods made me strong enough to withstand anything life brings me.
1:  What’s more important than the prize or reward at the end of the tunnel — are the lessons learned in the  journey.
0:  Having balance in life is the bomb-diggity!
Bonus Lesson 1:  You cannot control everything – and you absolutely cannot control another person’s actions.
Bonus Lesson 2:  There is no such thing as a short story when it comes to me! LOL
Bonus Lesson 3:  Worrying is just a waste a time.
Bonus Lesson 4:  YOGA saved my life!
Bonus Lesson 5:  NEVER let anyone / anything interfere negatively with your life. BE okay walking away from ANYTHING.
Bonus Lesson 6:  Do not mix dark and light liquors!
Bonus Lesson 7:  I cannot sing — not even a little bit. In fact — I’ve lost my right to even sing Happy Birthday to a person.  Lip syncing only!
Bonus Lesson 8:  Stop being an Enabler!  Enabling is not the business!
Bonus Lesson 9:  I’m learning to Laugh at the things that I typically take very seriously — LEARNING … I said 😀
Bonus Lesson 10:  You don’t have to FORGIVE & FORGET — but at least … Forgive — at some point!
Bonus Lesson 11: Friends don’t let friends tweet depressed!

Top 30 Memories:
30:  Creating One Cypher – and producing Styles Upon Styles with Crazy Legs, my partner Dennis in SF and LA.
29:  Going to Las Vegas with Moni, George Clinton and the parliament during the pimps and hoes convention! I had the TIME OF MY LIFE!  Talk about personalities!!!  I was laughing the entire trip!
28:  Driving to the Beverly Hills Hotel with Rashida, Angela and Moni to meet PRINCE for the very first time. WOW to much fun!  D
27:  The Honey Collective 2 Year Anniversary.
26:  Graduating from UCLA
27:  Dancing at the Billboard Music Awards / AMA’s for Gwen Stefani
26:  Just DANCING! .. and dancing … and dancing!  My first time auditioning for an agency and made it! I was fearless!
25:  Having my FIRST cocktail – Thanks Gretchen!
24:  Going to Japan and taking dance classes out there!
23:  Meeting my friends from Diego and those memories were / are endless! I miss that house! All the parties, all the dancing, all the crazy personalities, all the great chicken!  LOL
22:  Working for Disney!  The fun I had there was tooo much!
21:  Going to Prince’s house for his mid-night Jam Sessions until 7am!  WOW! Never forget those times. Dave Chapelle, Maxwell, Fatima, Kweli, Anthony Hamilton, Shelby J  and more talents blessin’ that mic!  Bottomless cocktails … the foodddddd and those pancakes!
20:  Working with the kids at UCLA – for Unite for Green! I love creating with young minds!
19:  My round table discussion at FRIDAYS every time I come to the bay with my best girlfriends: Tif and Tiers!
18:  Laughing on the phone with Jewels – talking in code about absolutely nothing!
17:  Temple bar Memories! – the food, the friends. the music — everything.
16:  Producing my first, second and third event.
15:  Purchasing my first pair of heals with Moni — I remember thinking my legs looked 10 times better in these miracle shoes!
14:  Booking my first print ad/commercial with KSwiss.
13:  Discovering downtown LA Fashion District! Uhmmm hello! A women’s haven.
12:  Playing kickball with my peoples from Disney!  We sucked but it was so much damn fun!
11:  Getting my convertible!
10:  Every Christmas / Thanksgiving with my family!
9:  My parents 40th wedding anniversary and my drunk speech:D
8:  Making out on Too Short’s couch — LOL.  (not with Too Short) but nontheless on Too Short’s couch. *none of your business who it was with!
7:  Going to the Abbey with Gretchen and Mia! (Oh GEEZ) the memories! – Stay away from their margaritas!
6:  Going to P’s on my birthday 2 years ago and he sang “purple rain” and I convinced myself he was singing that for me!
5:  My nieces and nephew were born!
4: My brother’s wedding and the reception was off the hook!
3: Moving into my own place!  What a blessing!
2:  Learning to let go of my attachments.
1:  The day I decided it was time to make “grown up” decisions!  Whooo— hooo!
0: ALLLL the Honey Events!

30’s HERE IS COME!

LABOR DAY WEEKEND! – HONEY ON THE ROOFTOP! JOIN US!

THE HONEY COLLECTIVE
presents

HONEY ON THE ROOFTOP

Come Celebrate Labor Day with US!

GOOD MUSIC  l  DANCING  l  BEAUTIFUL WEATHER AND OF COURSE …

FABULOUSNESS

We bring you only the best in Los Angeles

Location
JW MARRIOTT DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES

Rooftop Pool Bar

900 West Olympic Boulevard

Los Angeles, California 90015 USA

Sunday, September 5, 2010

1-7pm

Selectress’

DJ EQUE + SPECIAL GUESTS

Produced by:
SHELLEY OTO & MONICA PAYNE

RSVP
honeyontherooftop@yahoo.com

HONEY ON THE ROOFTOP THIS WEEK!

SWEET SWEET HONEY! – 4th OF JULY FUN ON THE ROOFTOP OF THE JW HOTEL!

ME ... BEFORE THE MADNESS BEGAN!

HONEY ON THE ROOFTOP – 4TH OF JULY CELEBRATION!

THE HONEY COLLECTIVE
presents
HONEY ON THE ROOFTOP

Come Celebrate the 3 Year Anniversary of our Summer Soiree’s!

GOOD MUSIC  l  DANCING  l  BEAUTIFUL WEATHER AND OF COURSE …

FABULOUSNESS

We bring you only the best in Los Angeles

Location
JW MARRIOTT DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES
Rooftop Pool Bar

900 West Olympic Boulevard

Los Angeles, California 90015 USA

Sunday, July 4th, 2010

1-7pm

Join us after our event to watch the fireworks in Downtown Los Angeles starting at 8 pm.
Just 3 minutes from the JW!

Selectress’

DJ EQUE + SPECIAL GUESTS

Produced by:

SHELLEY OTO & MONICA PAYNE

RSVP

honeyontherooftop@yahoo.com

PHOTOS FROM LAST YEARS HONEY SUMMER FUN! WERE YOU THERE?……DONT MISS THIS SUMMER SERIES!

The Honey Collective is known for throwing some of the best Summer Parties in Los Angeles! – Said the LA TIMES.  Let me know what you think???

Love my ladies!

Dancing! Dancing! Dancing!

Brand Nubian's in the house!

Uhmmm yeah - Good TImes!

My fam! Affion Crockett and John O - enjoying our rooftop!

ERNEST SKINNER AND LOVELY CELESSA!

FRANK 151'S IN THE HOUSE!

LOVELY HONEYS!

OUR LOVELY HONEY PATRONS

MORE HONEY FUN!

OUR BOYS! WE LOVE YOU GUYS!

MORE HONEYS...FUN!

WE EVEN LEARNED TO DJ! - THANK YOU SCRATCH ACADEMY!

MORE HONEYS!

SUMMER FUN WITH OUR HONEY PATRONS!

SURPRISED?

LOVE EQ!

THIS PHOTO ALWAYS MAKES ME LAUGH - LOVE RA!

THEYYY HAD FUN!

GOOD TIMES!

BROOK!

GEORGEEE!

ANTHONY!

BAY AREA FAM! MYK BEANNNN!

GOOD TIMES!

THE HONEY COLLECTIVE CELEBRATES THE 2010 BET AWARDS – HOSTED BY RAHEEM DEVAUGHN

THE HONEY COLLECTIVE CELEBRATES THE BET AWARDS - HOSTED BY RAHEEM DEVAUGHN AT THE SOFITEL THIS SATURDAY!

THE HONEY COLLECTIVE CELEBRATES THE BET AWARDS – HOSTED BY RAHEEM DEVAUGHN AT THE SOFITEL THIS SATURDAY!

THE HONEY COLLECTIVE & HENNESSY
Celebrate
the 2010 BET AWARDS

June 26th, 2010
2:00 PM- 8:00 PM

Hosted by: Best Male R&B Artist
2010 BET Award Nominee Raheem DeVaughn

SPONSORED BY
HENNESSY

LOCATION
Sofitel Hotel
Stone Rose Lounge
8555 Beverly Blvd
Los Angeles CA, 90048

DJS
DJ EQUE
+SPECIAL GUESTS DJS

PRODUCED BY
SHELLEY OTO & MONICA PAYNE

RSVP: honeycollective@yahoo.com