Tag Archives: growth



For days, years, decades … I’d cruise through life knowing I had as much time in the world to explore, travel, experience new things and make mistakes … Make mistakes … make mistakes?!

It was a cold or maybe really hot day in New York City about two months ago when it dawned on me that I couldn’t keep making the same mistakes.  In my twenties I could make late payments on my TMobile bill only to face a light slap on the hand and and a late fee of $4.95.  I could speed and get a traffic ticket with yet another slap on the hand and a fee of $150 – $300.  I could be late to almost anything and have my tardiness covered by a really good friend who got there on time. Everything was recoverable and fixable.

However, how does one make up for lost time and years that I will never be able to get back from long term bad decisions?

One day I was walking down a New York City street only to realize I was walking down the wrong street.  Not a big deal – I can always turn around make a quick right and then left and be back on track within 5 minutes of the unplanned detour.

This isn’t always the case with some of the decisions we make in life.  As women we can make the wrong decision for a years or decades and this is where my “holy shit” moment came!  There are some mistakes I’ve made in my life where the repercussion is well beyond a hand slap.  For some of these mistakes I can’t get back the years and years of pointless tears or using my “naive” ways as an excuse for it will only keep me in the cycle for years to come.

It was time to make better decisions.

Have you ever had your subconscious, or god or the universe or whatever higher being (you believe in)  try to get through to you and you be to scared to take the leap or make that hard decision?  The message is in your dreams and instances begin to occur on a regular basis  that notify you that are going the wrong way.  I’ve been through this several times in my life touching various life related topics and I’m learning that you can’t IGNORE your journey.  Have you noticed that when we move off course “shit just goes wrong” and nothing goes smoothly.  There are a million “do no proceed” “wrong way” and screaming red flags that throw itself in front of your vehicle at every moment and as relentlessly stubborn humans we ignore every sign  because we think we know better or we’re to scared to take the leap.

It’s time to make better decisions. Recently I’ve surrendered to some of my own painful patterns and when I did … the universe started to give me what I needed to fill the void, overpower the ego and keep me moving in the direction of making better / healthier decisions.   It’s still really hard to break patterns and the emotional process is very up and down but it feels good to know that your making decisions that are in alignment with your values, goals, worth and it’s empowering.

My “holy shit” moment made me realize that I didn’t want to waste my life or time doing anything that no longer serves me or my purpose.  Time is precious and it can filled doing things that bring you happiness and abundance so why waste it?  I want to use this year to create new friendships,  unforgettable memories, mastering what I love to do, learning to cook, exploring New York, laughing, eating, dancing and being the best Me I can be …

That’s when I’m the happiest, most fulfilled and I can offer the most to people in my surroundings.  Cheers to 2012.
My top 10 moments of 2011 –

1:   Re-uniting with my best friend Monica Payne 🙂
2:  Going to Prince’s concert – VIP style, hanging with my long time friends Rashida, Monica and sister Shari and dancing on stage with Prince – That was a farewell I’ll never forget. Thank you Rashida!
3:  Launching Unite for Green at NBA All Star in Los Angeles in collaboration.
4:  Moving to New York City (period) and ALL the growth that came with that decision.
5:  My farewell party in LA and SF – Thank you HC and Franboogie and Miguel E.
6:  Creating new friendships in NYC – I feel pretty darn lucky to have reconnected/connected with some amazing women on the East Coast.
7:  Producing my first large event with Red Bull
8:  My nephew saying my name for the first time “Shel shel”
9:  Launching HC in 3 cities
10: The special moments shared with the people closest to me in 2011.  It has definitely been a transitional year.

Keepin’ it Real…


Learning to work through moments of discomfort in hopes of finding comfort even in the hardest of times.  Does that make any damn sense?  Learning to love myself in times when I begin question what’s going on around me & who is around me?  Learning to be strong in times of vulnerability.  Learning to take a step back instead of a step towards being reactive.  Learning to be self aware in moments when those life patterns want to take over.  Learning to breathe through discomfort … & be still….

BOOK RECOMMENDATION: The Courage To Be Yourself by Sue Patton Thoele


Written by Sue Patton Thoele

To Purchase: CLICK HERE

I highly recommend this book titled “The Courage to Be Yourself-A Woman’s Guide to Emotional Strength and Self Esteem.”  This book actually caught me off guard because it covered topics outside of the conventional “self help” topics I’ve read about. It descriptively breaks down the women’s issues that invade us everyday – Topics range from friendship, to facing fears, expectations, limits and boundaries, appeasing, emotional wisdom, courage, abuse, inner strength, praying, love, the power of thought  and the list goes on.  Certainly this book helped me to reflect on some of my actions and how they effect relationships (friendships, family, business etc.) both positively and negatively. It allowed for me to think more objectively about my life, my decisions and how/what/where my views and position stand as a woman.  I’ve recently endured a rather painful situation in my life and read the below excerpt that spoke to me and helped me think differently about the way I handled it internally

Resistance Magnifies Pain
“Natural childbirth classes teach mothers-to-be that the pain of childbirth is greater when you resist it and grow tense with fear.  They tell you to “breathe into the pain,” not because deep breathing decreases the pain, but because relaxation increases your ability to accept pain….I encourage them to turn toward it, relax into the experience of pain, give themselves permission to feel it and act on it.  This frequently amazes them because most have been taught the sitff-upper lip appraoch to both physical and emotional pain. Resistance magnifies pain.  The more we resist difficult people, concepts, or circumstances, the more we draw to us exactly what we’re trying to resist… Resistance causes tension.  Tension creates tightness, stiffness, and inflexibility…..”   Often times, friends/peers/loved one have the best intentions and give the advice to ” don’t cry”  “don’t be angry” …but dammit sometimes it’s part of the process of working through one’s pain. LOL. I’ve crossed paths with individuals who hold everything in, and they’ve shared how it’s inhibited their current/future relationships, caused serious health issues or worse.  Just remember to BREATHE!